There’s no easy way to start.

I have wanted to write, to teach and share what I have learned through hard lived experiences, through my self- growth and training. And I write it, edit it and leave it on my desktop.

But I am going to push through all the self-doubt and noise and just begin. I am going to write to my younger self. I am also going to let her rage and cry on the page. I will clearly label those, don’t worry. You can always just move on and not read any of this.

I am not one for confrontation. And yet I am so sad and angry sometimes. How I am dismissed and talked to really hurts sometimes. Yet being angry, speaking out of anger has never worked, never really been safe for me. It doesn’t mend the chasm that is caused by their words or my words.

Yet people come to me for advice, for clarity and for words that help them navigate and carry on. That says to me that I have words worth writing and words worth listening to.

What I am hoping the site becomes is a place where some truths and experiences can be said along with some hope and playfulness. I have navigated through difficult, unequal power differential relationships. I have changed primary relationships while keeping dignity for those involved and maintaining or at least eventually having mutual respect. I value those qualities. I value kindness, respect and honesty. Hard to always maintain.

Anyway, there is a lot to talk about here. I am hoping to share resilience and playfulness while I am not going to shy away from difficult conversations. There will be some “how to’s”, or rather recommendations and how I did – type of information.

I am writing what to expect, but really, who knows. Let’s just see what happens.
Thanks for reading.

From No to Yes.

How is hibernation going?

For me, I have had passing moments of guilt over exercising my power of “No, thank you.” The guilt slides into moments of sadness. Then after a good nap, healthy snack or just a good cry, I feel at peace. But I don’t immediately recognize it as peace. First, it feels empty. Then I realize it’s also quieter. Then I can breathe. I feel my whole system decompress. That’s when I can put words to the spaciousness like peace, grounded, centered and at ease.

I mentioned to someone recently that I feel like I have forgotten something. I do the check in -looking at my to-do list and obligations. All immediate needs are met or satisfied. This moment everything is fine. Then I realize, I have forgotten stress. I have set aside the season’s demands, the historic necessities of ritual and social expectations. Phew. So that’s what this feels like. To be ok in my own space, and skin. In my own mind and being. That this moment is perfect all in itself.

You know what I discovered that follows saying, no? Yes. I begin to say Yes to me. The space where I can decompress and just be, opens up and gives my heart space to say yes! I begin choosing the things that I want to do. The events I want to attend. This decompressed spaciousness leads me to my passion, my heart centered choices.

This spaciousness allows me to give myself the things I need and also want! I can dream, play, sleep, eat, connect with people, browse stores, feel fabrics, listen to music – of the birds, the water or the music my heart desires. I can participate in the festivities of the season as I choose to.

Hibernation isn’t hiding. Although, sometimes hiding away is helpful and healing. Hibernation is slowing down to our own quiet pace. Allowing the rest and restoration that is natural. Just like the seasons show us.

As I decompressed I found that I do like some of the holiday traditions that I have historically participated in. I do find joy in giving. I do like to celebrate and honor the light in my life. The light that is often easier to see in the darkness.

Happy Hibernation season to you!

Guide through the Darkness

1. Shed the unnecessary.

Just say no. Turn it off. Be selective. Do the things that make you smile. Be good to yourself first. This particular season demands so much from us. This time do only what matters to you.

2. Stoke the fire.

Fire is passion. Tend to the things that light you up. Sometimes fire feels like anger. Anger can be useful to fuel our passion, but anger can also burn things down. If your anger stokes the flame, contain it until you can use it well.

3. Allow yourself rest.

We push through until we can’t anymore. This season allow yourself time to pause and to rest. Sleep can be so restorative. The dark season begs us to rest. Allow this for yourself.

4. Fill up on the yummy.

Remember that before this season of dark we accomplished a lot. We survived, we did hard things and we sowed a bountiful harvest. Celebrate what you’ve done. Celebrate the lessons and gifts that you have received. Turn on the music and dance.

5. Recharge. Plug into source.

Recharging reminds me that living is a process. Plug into source and take in all the goodness, and restore your energy There are lots of ways to plug into source. Find and use what works for you.

As we are headed into the dark let’s slow down. Let’s take good care of our whole selves. Remember to keep our core strong. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Let’s celebrate, rest and assess. We need this time of regrouping for spring is just around the corner. We will once again do our work of advocating, protecting, creating and caring for our world – however large that geography is.

Happy Hibernation, my friends. See you soon.